#9 I've misplaced my Thesis Advisor.....again?

So, here's the thing - I've lost my Thesis advisor, again...

I had a Thesis advisor once, I called him Dr. Evil. Then, he decided to leave (and while I understand his very good list of reasons as to why, I'm still mildly bitter about the leaving me). Yes, that's right, he left me.

I got a new Thesis advisor, who also heads up Tiger Nation, and things were going well. My research was wrapping itself up nicely, I had started the mental process of self-loathing and revulsion that ultimately snaps and turns me into a whirlwind writing machine, he was on board with my project; yes,  it was going well indeed. But then I started turning in pages and somehow lost him.

I blame the Internet. He was fine when last I saw him crossing campus, but then I e-mailed him and I am convinced that when he opened my message it sucked him into a vortex of never-ending information that is so overwhelmingly HUGE that he cannot determine which way is up and therefore cannot escape and critique my partially-written thesis.

Or, perhaps he found out that I root shamelessly for the University of Texas at Austin's Longhorns in football and decided to punish me, as he attended their arch rivals, the University of A&M at College Station's Aggies.

Or..maybe he found that I'm not a huge sports fan, and I only watch and root for UT during football season out of respect for my Grandfather (someone who trust me, you do not wish to irritate or root against).

Or, perhaps he was contemplating reasons two and three when reason one, the big, bad Internet came on the scene and swallowed him whole.

Or, perhaps I really need to get more sleep and stop thinking of crazy conspiracy theories as to why I've misplaced my second thesis advisor.

Or, better yet, I should find some computer and Internet savvy friends and mount an Internet search-and-rescue party to save him from the Web he's caught in (unless he's somehow stuck in a virtual College Station, then I think I'd let him stay stuck)?

Nope, I've got it, I will write up more pages of Thesis, and hopefully, when I send them across they will take the same path as the first two sets and this will confuse the Internet into letting him back out into the real world where he can read and critique my Thesis. Yes, that's it. That's the new plan....Or.....is it?

#8 Saving Face: the battle of the bills.

As previously published in The Signal of Ouachita Baptist University, where I'm News/Features Co-Editor:

       You can't spend one-third of a $10 bill. However, you can spend one-half of a $10 bill if that half includes half the face of Alexander Hamilton (the dead guy on it).
       How do I know this this random fact, you might be tempted to ask? I know this because ATMs are out to get me.
       Last week, I used the U.S. Bank ATM on campus to pull cash for my trip to Washington D.C. Knowing I would need real money to pay for things like taxis, metro fare cards, and Dr Pepper, I asked the machine for $70.
       It hummed and thumped and tick-tick-ticked as it counted what I naively thought was my money. Then, it spit out three pristine, brand new, never spent twenties, and one-third of a new, pristine ten dollar bill.
       One-third - as in slightly less than one half. Clearly, this was some grave mistake on the part of the ATM, right? Wrong. When I called to let U.S. Bank know of the issue, they explained - after several minutes on hold while they discussed the issue and how to fix it - that, as it was my bank [as in my bank back home in sweet, sunny Texas] that would need to get the $10 back for me, I would have to deal with them.
        I was mad, but I called my bank too.
        After about an hour of hold music interspersed with re-explanation of the situation and the e-mail of one piece of paperwork, I was done.
        Just kidding. The form had to be filled out and signed, then faxed to them (thanks to the marvelous folks at Student Services, it didn't take too long).
        The hard copy. with a copy of my ATM receipt, but not the offending bill, needed to be mailed as well.
         Long story short, I will eventually be getting $10 credited to my account, but I'm now wondering, if one can spend one-half a $10, can one spend it twice? I'm going to assume there's a rule that prevents that from being legal, thought I've yet to research it. (I'll work on that this week.)
         Sometimes the truth is just too complicated to make up.

# 7 Valentine's Day a.k.a. Singledom Blues

I have been single for 21 Valentine’s Days.

Granted, the first 12 or so didn’t really matter, I was a kid. Even then, in high school it wasn’t a huge deal, but once I hit college, it was a big deal. A very big deal.

My freshman year I saw a guy carry his girlfriend around all day. Yes, all day. Yes, you read that right, carry, as in her feet were not on the ground. How do I know it was an all day thing?

Simple. While I was trudging the slow walk of a single 18-year-old girl with a heavy backpack, I passed them three or four times. He had her backpack on with his own and was carrying her like a guy does in movies. I wanted to trip him.

My sophomore year I was in Spain, studying abroad. Spanish is the language of love, and Spain the country of PDA-to-the-max so Valentine’s Day rolled around and merely meant the girls on the street were sporting red lace thongs instead of black, and everything else was as normal.

Last year, My suite bought flowers for each other. Put together into one big vase, we had a really nice bouquet, and the half price candy from Walmart also helped.

This year, I don’t have flowers, my mother’s Valentine’s candy for me won’t arrive until Thursday, my life in general is skewed something crazy, and I’m sick of seeing couples. Everywhere.

I feel like all but a handful of my friends are dating, engaged, or married, and are off being couples on the over-commercialized day of Saint Valentine. And I’m jealous.

I currently have a love/hate relationship with Valentine and his lousy-but-lovely day.

You’ve got to understand something about me for the statement I just made to make sense. Bear with me and I will explain it to you.

I love romance, romantic comedies, spur-of-the-moment dates, just because flowers, chocolates when you’re sad, chick flicks, happy endings, and everything in between.

I hate sitting on the sidelines watching my friends and classmates, and former friends and classmates living out their own modern day fairytales, and I realize that sounds jaded.

Trust me when I say I’m truly happy for them, I love that they’ve all been so richly blessed. I just can’t help but sit here and wonder, when is it my turn?

And yes, there are guys I probably could have dated –if I’d dropped an already lower-than-it-used-to-be standard. (It’s got 6 things right now. Christian, Funny, Smart, Taller-than-me, Dark Hair, and a Love of Travel. That’s it. I feel that that isn’t unreasonable. I really don’t think I need to dumb it down or change it.) So yes, I’m technically single by choice on my 21^st Valentine’s Day, but is that really even a choice? Hold out for a guy who fits a simple list or date whatever is on the street? Fail and not cool.

So for right now, I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate it. I love the idea, and the tradition, but I hate the practicing of it. Of feeling like there is something wrong with me for the 24 hours a year that everyone I know (or so it seems) are paired up in the little cutesy couples I write about in my short stories, or wondering what I’m doing wrong that I don’t get my mini-happy-ending, etc. etc.etc…

For right now, I’m glad it ends in an hour, that the pink and red and white roses will die and be thrown out, that the teddy bears will lose their bows and get worn down on someone else’s pillow, and that the candy will be eaten. Because that means I have 364 days left to be my usual self, to be okay with being single (well, mostly okay with it. Let’s face it, I’d love it if a guy, just one, would step up to the plate and say “hey. You should date me.” And yes, I may or may not have a guy in mind, or at least…a type of guy, or a list…pick one. It’s potentially right).

Because right now, the only thing wrong with little old me, is a little old day named after a dead guy and the overcommercialization that has turned it into every taken girl's dream and this single girl's nightmare.

~Nanda