Monday, November 29, 2010

#4 (Driving Habits)

I drove home for Thanksgiving break. That's about an 8 hour drive, if I don't hit traffic, roadworks, storms, wind, accidents, etc... I have been called an aggressive driver more than once. This is simply not true, I am a kind, patient, considerate driver, until you do something stupid in front of me that results in the adding of time to my trip. Also, if you think you are God's gift to women, or your car is clearly compensating for something you're physically lacking...I may be more likely to whip around you and leave you in the dust of my versa's exhaust.

Tuesday was no exception to the established driving pattern, but instead of finding myself the recipient of several gestures, honking, and shouting by other drivers, I added a new experience to my repertiore of road tales: paper throwing.

Yes, you read that correctly. Traffic was worse than normal, and it was aided by AR-DOT and TXDOT scheduling road maintenance on THANKSGIVING WEEK. The geniuses... I was about midway in my trek and found myself approaching a segment of highway that narrowed from 3 lanes to 2. This isn't anything to be worried about, the powers that be routinely do this on highways that I travel, I think they enjoy watching the ensuing traffic jams. BUT as it got to the point where the cones that cut off the "fast" lane were visible a hot-shot (in a piece of junk car I might add) comes out of nowhere from behind me and goes all the way to the cone-line in a matter of miliseconds. This driver, a 20-something male from what I saw, then proceeded to attempt to cut in front of me, without indicating, and by sheer force of will.

I was tired. The drive was taking forever. I had "miles to go before I slept" to paraphase an old poem. I did not let him in. Why should I let this idiot who clearly had ignored the warning signs over a mile behind us (which stated the lane ended) go in front of me?

He angrily pulled in behind me (his glare apparently got the appropriate response of terrified braking from the car behind me), and spent the 5 miles of the 2-lane stretch glaring at me through my rear-view mirror.
I could have handled that, after all, that's really nothing new, and I have been known to do that to other drivers.

The roadway widened to 3 lanes again. The driver pulled even with me, and glared for a full 15 seconds, his eyes not on the road at all during that time (mine were, as I have peripherals, and was using them to see his glare). Then, this driver went one further.

He pulled in front of me. He braked. And just when I thought I'd see his tell-tale one-fingered gesture of rage (which I'd honestly expected during the 15 second side-stare), he threw paper.

Yes, ladies and gents, this man of at least his mid-twenties threw a piece of paper out of his window at me. I can only assume he hoped it would fly onto my windshield in a moment of movie-perfection and show me some obscenity? Because, you see, it merely fluttered to the road and was spat out the other side of my tires, leaving me laughing at the childish display of road-rage that also amounted to a misdemeanor (littering).

My family thinks that perhaps he was in anger management and was supposed to find other outlets for his anger than gestures and cussing?

I can't be sure.
But, along with tales of drivers who have cussed, braked, honked, flipped me off, etc...during my marathon drives home, I now have the entertaining tale of the man who threw paper.

So thank you, paper-throwing moron for making my drive slighty more entertaining by using a non-environmentally friendly method of showing your distaste for my driving etiquette.

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